Anxiety or a Lack of Patience?

I’ve been told probably hundreds of times I’m a very laid back, patient and calm person. My thought is I just hide it well. There are obviously certain things that would bother me more than others. There are also those bad days that seemingly anything can get you going. I’ve had a lot of those over the past couple of years.

The past two years have been a battle. Health issues that turned into nightmares (literally), several deaths in the family, the extreme stress I have with my career and becoming an empty nester. All of these things have contributed to my stress level, which I feel, directly affects my level of anxiety and at times…depression.

The obstacles that we have battled through the past two years have taken tolls in different ways. I think so often, ‘When am I gonna get a break?’ It always seems like the minute I break through one obstacle, another one pops up. When does it end? Will this be my routine for the rest of my life? Will I always have the feeling that the little black cloud will always follow? Don’t get me wrong, I will never stop fighting. The fight gets tiresome though. Always being Mr. Fix It for others gets old at times.

I do feel that I don’t have the patience I once had. I have days like today. I received a phone call from an employee that had an issue. It wasn’t anything big and could be handled quickly….but I was short and snapped at him. There was no reason for it and he didn’t deserve it. Further yet, he apologized for bothering me. It didn’t take but minute to realize what I just did. The more I think about, I can pinpoint several similar instances like this with employees, my wife, even people at the damn grocery store.

So is it anxiety or a lack of patience? I think both.

How do I battle this? Being short tempered and having no patience really isn’t me. I want to feel like the guy everyone says I am.

I’ve tried meditation, which was recommended to me, and it has helped. I would love more ideas on what others may do to deal with stress. I’m trying to be more active like I used to, but like so many, time makes it difficult. I work on average, 14-15 hours a day. Yes, that is too much. I need ideas to get out of the rut that life and I have dragged myself into.

Throw em at me guys.